Through My Eyes

Updated

2009-05-12T09:09:00.001-07:00

Wow, it's been a while since I updated this thing. So let's see what all happened.

Good things:
~I've almost hit level 70 as my druid Lilchii
~Finally over that bitch Rebekah that broke my heart, I'll tell more later.
~Still have net
~My little brother, Eddie, is finally talking to me again. Yeah!

Bad things:
~Still alone
~Still a dork and a looser.
~Still thinking my cats are people and talk to me. ><

Okay, so what happened with Rebekah was this: Got a IM from her and she asked if I missed her. I told her not really and why? She goes and tells me this bull shit lie that she spent 3 weeks in a nut house. I rolled my eyes at this. I even spoke with my two closest friends, Rini and Rebel(my sister), and they both agree that she's just trying to get attention. And to top this off, she goes and says the docs put her on 4 different medications. One I can believe, because she's diabetic and diabetics can get high blood pressure easily. The other 3 were totally lies. No doctor in his/her right mind would give someone 2 DIFFERENT anti-depressants and a anti-anxiety pills at the same time. No freaking way. So now she and I aren't on speaking terms. And this was the best part. I told her I didn't believe her bullshit lies and that pissed her off. She said, "Fuck you!" so I told her, "No thanks, I'm not into you anymore." xD My sister was so proud of me for standing up to that attention whore.

I can prove she's one too. She's got like 5 mules on gaiaonline.com. She got on one, and my friend at the bar she was at didn't even know it. I told her it was here and we talked. Tsukiyo(my friend) said that Rebekah had told her she had depression, but I said, she doesn't have depression, she has attentionwhoreitus. xD That was funny, no? And the funny thing is, she says she has a job, but she hasn't logged off her account in 4 freaking days. What a looser!

I guess that's enough ranting out of me. I'm going to go check on what El Black and White is sneezing about. Later days!

Hot N Cold

2009-03-07T21:51:00.000-08:00

No, this isn't like the song. xD It's just the only thing on my mind, blasted ring tone. *shakes fist*

Okay, so let's see... It's been a while since I posted anything on here. Let's see.

Finally got a freaking job! ><><

Till Next Time!
Later Days!
~N-Chan

Why Do I Bother Anymore?

2009-02-12T16:43:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been feeling that no know gives a rat's ass about how I feel. My so called friend Iz is a great example of this. Today, she chewed me out for how my RPC was acting at Club Toxic on Gaiaonline.com. So my rpc was moody, so fucking what!? Then she goes and says I don't have it as hard as she does, that's a lie right there. She doesn't suffer like I do.
I was born with the following:
Bipolar
Dyslexia
ADHD
Manic Depression

I don't have any money to pay for going to a doctor or a shrink to get medication for anything. So I have to struggle every single day to just keep on going.
But lately, I been wondering why do I even bother anymore? Not like anyone would give a shit if I suddenly vanished from the net. Not like anyone would even come to my funeral if I was dead...
I feel so hated and unwanted by pretty much everyone.
I've been trying for 5 months now to get a job. If I don't find one soon, I wont be able to live in my apartment anymore or keep my two cats. I can hardly afford food as it is. I haven't eaten in 4 days now because of lack of cash.

I draw a lot(yes I know it's off topic, but just bare with me). I was trying to help a friend out with a quest for avi art on Gaia. I showed him one I had done of Kamiki Loba. He said it sucked and I started to cry. I had worked damn hard on that drawing. It took me half a day to get it just right! Then he says I creep him out and he thinks I'm stalking him, AS IF! I get bored and thread hop a lot. Not my fault he was in the same thread I was. I saw the first post, and it looked cool, so I posted. I didn't even notice his naga ass in there till he said I was stalking him. I have better things to do with my life then stalk people, unlike someone else I know.... ELENA.... *rolls eyes*
Anyhoo, why do people enjoy putting me down when I'm depressed? Do they like making me cry? Do they enjoy tormenting me? Why can't they just leave me alone?
Speaking of leaving me alone... This girl that I mentioned before, Elena, she's been getting on my nerves lately. I role play with her now and then when I'm bored. Now she's freaking stalking me and wont ever shut the hell up! It drives me crazy that she just wont get the picture and leave me alone. I hate RPing with her because she always has to have drama around her RPCs.... it just ticks me off. And it's only me and her in there, that gets so freaking boring that I want to scream and pull her hair out(I don't have much of my own since I cut it short again). She's always bitching at me because of my friend and her ex, Brandon. Personally, I want Brandon to annoy the shit out of her and bug her and tick her off. She does that to me all the time, I hate logging in and seeing her online icon there. Why can't she take the hint to just leave me alone? She goes all emo with her RPCs and it urks me to no end. I mean, is she really that retarded? That she can't see how annoying she's being? I mean, come on! Do I have to spell it out to her or something?
*sigh* Okay. I feel better now that I've ranted my fat ass off again.... if anyone reads this, then thanks for even taking the time to read my rant. Later days,
N-chan

Test Results

2009-02-09T08:36:00.000-08:00

I took several tests, and here are the results. Don't laugh....

Your Colors Say You Are Caring

When you are at peace, you are:

Energized and innovative

When you are moved to act, you are:

Giving and warm

When you are inspired, you are:

Spontaneous and adventurous

When your life is perfectly balanced, you are:

Light hearted and funny

Your life's purpose is:

To find contentment

The Ultimate Color Test

You Are Peanut Butter Sandwiches / Do-si-dos

You are easy going and naturally happy. You don't need a lot to make you smile.

You genuinely care about people and are a great friend. You're always doing your best to make the world a better place.

Even though there isn't an immature bone in your body, you still are like a big kid sometimes.

Why make life complicated when the best parts are actually quite simple? You enjoy the small joys of life.

What Girl Scout Cookie Are You?

Your Mind is NC-17 Rated

You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap.

If your thoughts can go dirty, they do. Almost everything is NC-17 to you!

Do You Have a Dirty Mind?

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!

When you're up, you're a little bit crazy...

And when you're down, your whole world is crashing

Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

You Would Be a Pet Rabbit

Playful and hyper, you enjoy being around other people... as long as everyone's having fun.

You are easily bored, and you almost always need some sort of entertainment.

If you're not keeping busy, then you're apt to get in some sort of trouble!

Why you would make a great pet: You're very entertaining, even when you're not trying to be

Why you would make a bad pet: Well, personal hygiene isn't exactly your thing... you kind of smell sometimes

What you would love about being a rabbit: Playtime... and eating flowers

What you would hate about being a rabbit: Being held like a toy

What Kind of Pet Would You Be?

You Are a Siamese Cat

You are a very communicative creature. You're eager to express yourself - and do so often.

You are very dependent and love attention. You will complain if you are not getting enough affection.

Even though you are very loving, you can seem aloof, unpredictable, and stubborn in relationships.

A relationship with you takes a lot of patience.

What Breed of Cat Are You?

You Are a Bullmastiff

You are confident, reasonable, and very calm. Nothing shakes you up.

It's likely that you were a bit wild when you were younger, but you've gotten that out of your system.

The only time you get aggressive is when someone tries to threaten or harm you in some way.

There's a little bit of wolf underneath all that sheep's clothing!

What Breed of Dog Are You?

Your Inner Pop Princess Is Kelly Clarkson

"Grew up in a small town

And when the rain would fall down

I'd just stare out my window

Dreaming of what could be"

No doubt about it, you have star quality. Might just take a while to get there.

Who's Your Inner Pop Princess?

You Are a German Shepherd Puppy

Intelligent, quick witted, and a bit aggressive.

You've got the jaw power to take a bite out of anyone you choose.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

What Nikki Means

N is for Num Nums

I is for Itchy Lips

K is for Kitten

K is for Killer Smile

I is for Igloo Warmer

What's Your Pet Name?

There's a Chance You Could Be Violent

Overall, you're a pretty chill person - and you have a good handle on your emotions.

Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.

Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.

Could You Be Violent?

You Should Be a Social Worker

You are deeply caring and empathetic.

You are able to take on other people's problems as if they were your own.

Sensitive and intuitive, you understand human emotions well.

Helping others gives you the most joy in life. You feel like it's your purpose in life.

You do best when you:

- Have a lot of responsibility

- Greatly impact someone's life with your work

You would also be a good philanthropist or stay at home parent.

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

Your Ideal Pet is a Cat

You're both aloof, introverted, and moody.

And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!

What's Your Ideal Pet?

Your Kiss is Red

You are intense about kissing but easily distracted.

You kiss for attention, power, and passion.

It doesn't take a lot for you to want to kiss someone.

If you see a kissing opportunity, you always go for it!

Kissing Type: Kissaholic (admit it!)

People See Your Kisses as: Seductive

You Kiss Best With: An Orange Kisser

Stay away from: A Blue Kisser

What Color Is Your Kiss?

You're a Freaky Kisser

When you kiss, you want to experience something new.

A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing...

And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable.

There's no saying where your tongue or hands will go!

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

You Are a Monroe Piercing

You are glamourous, sophisticated, and very classy.

You're the type to think carefully before getting any sort piercing or tattoo.

You are naturally charming. People find you to be very alluring.

Your manners are impeccable, and you always have something witty to say.

While you look like you're high maintenance, you have simple tastes.

You're a homebody who often rather curl up with a book than go out.

What Piercing Are You?

You Are Gold Lights

Your holidays are a time of abundance and riches.

Even if you don't have a lot during the rest of the year, this is the time that you splurge a little.

Your holidays traditions tend to be a bit old fashioned and dignified.

You like old holiday movies, properly wrapped presents, and family recipes passed down over the years.

What Color Christmas Lights Are You?

You Are a Goth!

You're so gothically outrageous, and you aren't afraid to flaunt it.

Whether you dress up like Robert Smith or a tragic Little Bo Peep,

chances are that you'll be parading around with the rest of the goths at Yoyogi Park on Sunday.

Don't forget your white makeup and blue lipstick! Who knows?

You may just get picked up by one of the seedy photographers.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

You are "Excited"

Now make that face!

What Japanese Smiley Are You?

You Are Banana Pocky

Your attitude: fun and lighthearted

You are definitely unique and unforgettable.

Charming and sweet, you are cutie everyone falls for.

And despite first appearances, you're anything but bland.

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

Your Funky Japanese Name Is Nokikaki

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto!

What's Your Funky Japanese Name?

Your Japanese Name Is: Moe Aburakoji

Banzai!

What's Your Japanese Name?

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting.

You focus on living a quality life.

You're not easily impressed with novelty.

Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

You Are a Blueberry Margarita

Honestly, there's no one quite like you. And believe it or not, most people think that's a bad thing!

You're open, wild, friendly, wacky, and tons of fun. You have a big personality... and a big heart.

What Flavor Margarita Are You?

You Are a Margarita Jelly Bean

Wildly optimistic and jovial, you know how to get through anything with flair. You have a certain "je ne sais quoi" that makes you an alluring companion.

What Flavor Jelly Bean Are You?