Why Do I Bother Anymore?

Lately, I've been feeling that no know gives a rat's ass about how I feel. My so called friend Iz is a great example of this. Today, she chewed me out for how my RPC was acting at Club Toxic on Gaiaonline.com. So my rpc was moody, so fucking what!? Then she goes and says I don't have it as hard as she does, that's a lie right there. She doesn't suffer like I do.
I was born with the following:
Bipolar
Dyslexia
ADHD
Manic Depression

I don't have any money to pay for going to a doctor or a shrink to get medication for anything. So I have to struggle every single day to just keep on going.
But lately, I been wondering why do I even bother anymore? Not like anyone would give a shit if I suddenly vanished from the net. Not like anyone would even come to my funeral if I was dead...
I feel so hated and unwanted by pretty much everyone.
I've been trying for 5 months now to get a job. If I don't find one soon, I wont be able to live in my apartment anymore or keep my two cats. I can hardly afford food as it is. I haven't eaten in 4 days now because of lack of cash.

I draw a lot(yes I know it's off topic, but just bare with me). I was trying to help a friend out with a quest for avi art on Gaia. I showed him one I had done of Kamiki Loba. He said it sucked and I started to cry. I had worked damn hard on that drawing. It took me half a day to get it just right! Then he says I creep him out and he thinks I'm stalking him, AS IF! I get bored and thread hop a lot. Not my fault he was in the same thread I was. I saw the first post, and it looked cool, so I posted. I didn't even notice his naga ass in there till he said I was stalking him. I have better things to do with my life then stalk people, unlike someone else I know.... ELENA.... *rolls eyes*
Anyhoo, why do people enjoy putting me down when I'm depressed? Do they like making me cry? Do they enjoy tormenting me? Why can't they just leave me alone?
Speaking of leaving me alone... This girl that I mentioned before, Elena, she's been getting on my nerves lately. I role play with her now and then when I'm bored. Now she's freaking stalking me and wont ever shut the hell up! It drives me crazy that she just wont get the picture and leave me alone. I hate RPing with her because she always has to have drama around her RPCs.... it just ticks me off. And it's only me and her in there, that gets so freaking boring that I want to scream and pull her hair out(I don't have much of my own since I cut it short again). She's always bitching at me because of my friend and her ex, Brandon. Personally, I want Brandon to annoy the shit out of her and bug her and tick her off. She does that to me all the time, I hate logging in and seeing her online icon there. Why can't she take the hint to just leave me alone? She goes all emo with her RPCs and it urks me to no end. I mean, is she really that retarded? That she can't see how annoying she's being? I mean, come on! Do I have to spell it out to her or something?
*sigh* Okay. I feel better now that I've ranted my fat ass off again.... if anyone reads this, then thanks for even taking the time to read my rant. Later days,
N-chan